"Life is the perfection of technology"

We, as humans, view ourselves in a perspective that puts us on top and in control. We are constantly striving to "progress" our technologies to reproduce what nature already does. From my title quote, I am sure you can see where I am going with this.

We seem to be really good at identifying problems that are really symptoms, criticizing innovation and when are actually motivated to "do the right thing" it sometimes tends to be the wrong thing entirely. How do we solve the looming monster issues of today without creating another problem in the future? Or how can we effectively begin to heal the Earth, humanity and the important relationship between the two? Only humility will allow us to move out of our own ways/agendas/ sentiment and see that the solutions are all around us. Let's take a look at an example.

The Energy Crisis - The problem... well, let's start our humility by not assuming we know the problem. Let's discuss the symptoms until we discover what the problem really is. The symptoms of the "energy crisis" are the facts that we will eventually run out of oil, we are causing more pollution than the Earth can deal with and it has become so valuable that wars are fought as a result of it's location and ownership. We use oil for everything. From fuel to plastics, from food to lubricants.. the uses for oil are so extensive, it has truly become something our society depends on.

Oil has become the thing that we use so that we do not have to be accountable for our wastage, so that we do not have to be completely creative in design, so that we can do the whatever we want without concerning ourselves with relevance, effectiveness and efficiency.. oil replaces the need to be concerned with how a system will be propelled, powered or positioned. Oil makes our "progress" look more like a plateau.

How are we supposed to stop using oil when we have become dependent on it? Well, we begin to take actions that are less dependent on it now while we can still call it a resource. It is unreasonable to think that we can just stop using the resource that we've intertwined into every part of our everything. But, a drastic shift in thinking does need to occur.

Our housing is designed to consume. Our cities and subsequent transportation corridors are designed to consume. Our industry is designed to consume. Our children our being 'designed' to consume. What now?

I suggest that nuclear power is the answer. WHAT? That's right, nuclear power.

There is a nuclear reactor that we can all use in unlimited ways, without affecting it's energy stores, withou creating pollution, without fear of fallout... in fact, this reactor gives off more energy than we need without consequence... we just need to design its use into our lives in a major way. It is located in the relative center of our solar system. Yes, I am speaking of the Sun.

If we designed our homes in such a way that was not motivated by image, order or convenience... we could essentially decrease our fossil fuel consumption astronomically. If we designed our homes to retain solar energy and designed systems within our homes to use the same resource, our "energy crisis" would not seem like a crisis at all. AND.. this is only one application of that resource. As I alluded to earlier.. life is the perfection of technology and that technology is fueled by the Sun.

We live in a world of excess and waste and the result is fear, disease, obesity, poverty etc.... but we as a society act like there is no other alternative. Vulnerability is something most of us avoid and reasonably so. But, humility can turn that vulnerability into a positive momentum for change. The symptoms we face daily result from the doctrines of society and they cannot be healed without new doctrines. New ways of relating, thinking, pursuing and acting.

The solutions to our symptoms are all around us. The real question is, are we humble enough to be taught lessons by the earth instead of trying to control and direct the planet for our unreasonable appetites for power, wealth, and status? I feel that many of us are finally answering this question honestly and now are ready for some ideas that would otherwise be thought ridiculous. So here is a ridiculous idea .. permaculture.. it's just crazy enough to work.

I journal.. just not daily.. or even monthly.. yearly?

It has been a long time since I wrote on this medium as Facebook seems to meet my need for instant venting and input of stimulus... However, I started this for a reason and I intend to follow through.

In our house, we have proven lately, that "failure only occurs when you stop trying or give up completely". My stubbornness has been as good for me as it has been bad. But I believe I have finally figured out its purpose and how to use it effectively. Thanks to my beautiful wife's love and encouragement, I have accomplished more for myself in the last few years than I feel I ever have.

The goals I have set so far, have been achieved. I wanted to test myself. To see if I was actually the agricultural, back-to-the-lander that I believed myself to be. In the last year I have successfully completed hunter's education and fire arms safety, gone hunting, field dressed and helped butcher a deer; started to regain my yoga practices (even though it remains infrequent, I refer to my previous quote about failure); helped our boys step up their games in both school and daily life in a consistent and measurable way (Kalen on the honor role and Kai in love with school and learning - both of them a joy to be around with their own perspectives and amazing personalities); creating a happy healthy loving home with a family that really connects and enjoys life; a marriage that is constantly evolving and growing to become something I had once hoped for; and the ability to look after what I need for my health and sanity through the craziness that life seems to be.

Now, every where I have used "I" in the previous paragraph is completely dependent on one thing.. harmony with my wife and a love for life. Two things that have been necessary to achieve the successes that I enjoy right now. Thank you, April, for your hard work and hard head and always being committed to raising the bar no matter how much it may hurt or how difficult it may seems. I have no successes without you.

My current projects include a greenhouse... a monster greenhouse in fact. A direct result of a hailstorm that decimated our entire harvest last year... I never thought lost crops would affect me so, until I put my heart, soul and expectation in to them. The greenhouse will be 19x10ft and will be ready for future heating and aquaponics projects to extend my growing season and makes us way more sustainable than we are now. Also, I will be attaching a chicken coop to the greenhouse for multiple benefits. Soon, we will get a massive portion of our food from our little urban farm.

I am also really excited to be taking my "Permaculture design certificate" course in March. This will hopefully begin a new path in my life that will lead to new successes and triumphs.

Blessings to you all.

Joshua

The first step

The journey of a thousand steps begins with just one....

I have become aware of something that is missing in my life. Something that I had for a long time. Something very precious. Something that took a lot of energy to maintain and yet rewarded me with nothing.

Last October I went on a trip with my fiancee to visit some friends in a place that I regard as a sanctuary. Usually when I go I am filled with the beauty of nature, the awesomeness of creation and the infinite universe. This time was different, however.
Peace was not prevailent this time. It took work to relax.

It always takes a long time for me to be able to wind down, but this was way more intense. I would try to stop thinking about all the things that I obviously feel are worth worrying about. But the knots would not loosen. My thoughts would not be still.
When I am like this there are moments that I can't even hear what someone is saying to me. I can't enjoy the breeze, the birdsong or the smell of the air. I become a vacant drone that is exhausted from exerting such an effort to achieve nothing. It hurts. Especially since I know that I am doing it.. but can't stop.
Or won't.....

On this trip, strife seemed to be the theme. There was unrest and pain going on in several of my friends lives. It seemed like we were all being put to the test. Or, our narrow minds were choking out our dreams. It just seemed like nothing was going to be easy ever again. It seemed like I would never be the person I hoped I would be.

Then something happened. "with a little help from my friends" I came undone inside. I found that I could relax in an instant, enjoying all that my surroundings had hidden up until this point. I could take a deep breath. The stress and worry had gone.
After a couple of weeks, without me knowing, it came back. The daily routine of work and parenting and the etcetera that comes with life piled back on my shoulders. I allowed it.
You don't know that you're depressed until you stop being depressed. You don't realize how stressed you are until you can put that load down. All the energy I had been using to hurt myself could have been used to make my life better. But somehow I had convinced myself that by carrying the weight of the world, I was doing my family, friends and co-workers a favour. I will worry so no one else has to? I will be stressed because that demonstrates duty and loyalty? I will poison myself, feeling inadequate while those around me are waiting for someone to lead and give hope? It all seems ridiculous to actually try and write those thoughts out. In fact, I don't even feel I have captured in words, the war going on inside my head. But the point is..... i was doing it to myself and that was hurting others in the process.

So... that's where I start.
One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. I am not going to worry about where this journey will end. Only how well I travel day to day.

It begins with a purpose

"Instead of following a well traveled path, go where there are no footprints and leave a trail" - Inscribed on a rock at an African craft vendor.

Something inside me wants out. I don't even know what it is. I am capable of so much but feel like I accomplish nothing. I know the direction I that I need to go. I feel the pull. I am also very aware of the currents that have their own momentum and have no concern for travelers.

I am a tree being proven by the elements... I am a sail using the wind to move me without directing me... I am a sailor becoming a captain... I am a son... becoming a father.